RSMU – Week 8 Picks

Here we are at the midpoint of the college football regular season. Alabama, Oregon, Florida, Notre Dame and a handful of other teams remain undefeated. The RSM pickers, sadly, do not. Let’s get to the picks!

This week’s games:

LSU at Texas A&M
Virginia Tech at Clemson
Auburn at Vanderbilt
Wake Forest at Virginia
South Carolina at Florida
South Florida at Louisville
Texas Tech at TCU
NC State at Maryland
Louisiana-Monroe at Western Kentucky
Alabama at Tennessee
Kansas State at West Virginia
Baylor at Texas
Florida State at Miami

And now the picks:

Jerrod Brown

LSU at Texas A&M: LSU

LSU continues plodding along. I don’t think the fleet footed A&M QB will fare as well against a tough LSU D.

 

Virginia Tech at Clemson: Clemson

VT is struggling and I have to go with Dabo and the Tigers (Did I mention that I once had a college class with Dabo? Yeah, we were like almost friends if we had ever actually met and had a conversation…)

 

Auburn at Vanderbilt: Auburn

I feel sorry for my AU friends so I will keep picking them to win for the sake of friendship. But seriously, things are BAD on the Plains… Very bad!!!

 

Wake Forest at Virginia: Virginia

Honestly, my 4 year old just picked them because I really just don’t care… She likes the idea of a Cavalier… I told her he was a guy with a feather in his hat.

 

South Carolina at Florida: South Carolina

USC wins in the sec game of the week. I think the USC offense can score on UF and Clowney and the D will slow UF just enough to win in the Swamp

 

South Florida at Louisville: Louisville

The Cards are tough this year. By the way, the school and town are pronounced LOO-uh-vuhl…

 

Texas Tech at TCU: TCU

Tubby and the Red Raiders are looking tough . Unlike the rest of the Big 12 they actually play defense.

 

NC State at Maryland: Maryland

They will wear a new garish version of their uniforms and distract NCSU just enough to win.

 

Louisiana-Monroe at Western Kentucky: ULM

Another epic Sunbelt battle– the Warhawks pull this one out. Bit remember, this is the team that lost to Auburn…

 

Alabama at Tennessee: Bama

Roll Tide!

 

Kansas State at West Virginia: KSU

I’m thinking that a lot of points will be scored this week… Problem is, my elderly mother could throw for 400 yards on WVU, and run for 100 more. Klein has a field day in Morgantown.

 

Baylor at Texas: Texas

I just don’t care about the Big 12 at this point…
Does that tall Baylor women’s basketball player play on the football team too, that would be interesting…

 

Florida State at Miami: FSU

Miami is terrible.

 

 

Nicklaus Louis

LSU at Texas A&M

At this point, I don’t know whether to root against the Ags because they cry-babied their way out of the Big 12 or to root for them so people stop acting like the SEC is head and shoulders and chests and abdomens and naughty bits and knees above all other conferences.

LSU wins this one.

 

Virginia Tech at Clemson

Tigers gon’ beat da heck-ie outta da Hokies!

That could be read in pretty much any regional accent you like, but it was meant to be read with a Southern drawl…or was it?

 

Auburn at Vanderbilt

Gotta believe that Auburn continues its free-fall. Better start saving up to buy Cam Newton’s son.

Vandy wins going away.

 

Wake Forest at Virginia

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…Demons scare me. They are evil, and they keep making those horrible “Paranormal Activity” movies.

Damn. I should’ve made a joke about sacrificing a Virgin to appease the Demon. Oh well, if only my keyboard had a backspace button.

Virginia wins.

 

South Carolina at Florida

South Carolina rebounds and gives Florida a taste of the castor oil they were fed last week. Everyone will continue to call Steve Spurrier “The Old Ball Coach” for no apparent reason.

 

South Florida at Louisville

Louisville is a fine name…especially the first five letters of it.

USF will not besmirch it.

 

Texas Tech at TCU

I highly doubt Tech is as good as they looked last week, and I know TCU is not as good as they looked last week. Trust me, Baylor’s defense is pretty much the worst defense I’ve ever seen…and I’ve seen a fear-paralyzed deer get run over by my F-150.

TCU wins a close one.

 

NC State at Maryland

I like saying “Terps.”

 

Louisiana-Monroe at Western Kentucky

ULM has had a magical season. I think it ends this week.

 

Alabama at Tennessee

Blow out by half-time…by Tennessee!!!

Maybe I’m drinking too much Jack Daniel’s. Tide rolls.

 

Kansas State at West Virginia

K-State stays undefeated, yet Geno Smith will somehow remain the Heisman front-runner.

 

Baylor at Texas

I’d be more confident in calling for a third straight defeat of the fighting Mack Browns if we didn’t have such an atrocious defense. Seriously, our strategy on 3rd downs last week was to have the corners play 7-8 yards off the WRs…and TCU was usually in 3rd and less than 5. Even the unpredictable David Ash can’t not go crazy on that kind of lame brain scheming, right?

Kills me to do this, but I think UT wins in a shoot-out.

 

Florida State at Miami

My teenage self just showed up from the past to ask why this game isn’t the talk of the nation.

Miami wins by a score.

 

 

 

RSM Wayne Franklin as the world’s lamest pirate

Wayne Franklin

LSU at Texas A&M

A&M has looked strong since their opening loss to Florida. “Johnny Football” is arguably the best scrambling quarterback in the game. But you know how you find out your QB is a good scrambler? Failures on the O-line. A&M keeps it close, but LSU wins by a hat.

 

Virginia Tech at Clemson

There was a time when I thought Frank Beamer one of the great coaches in the nation. This season is not that time. Plus, there’s this: the Tigers will enter Wallace Wade Stadium, give a ceremonial rub of (Frank) Howard’s rock and then follow their coach, Dabo Swinney to victory. What do Wade, Howard and Swinney have in common? Wade coached Alabama to three national championships, Howard, the veritable Bard from Barlow Bend, played at Bama, and so did Swinney. Bama magic wins.

 

Auburn at Vanderbilt

Oh, Auburn… You would think a Bama fan would relish what’s happening on the Plains. On the contrary, football is more fun her when both teams are good … which is rare.

Anchor down. ‘Dores win. Chizik is fired by Monday. Auburn talks a good game about family and forgiveness as they go buy Bobby Petrino a new motorcycle and a new assistant.

 

Wake Forest at Virginia

Jim Grobe told his team that “a lot of teams would like to be 3-3.” (See Auburn.) With such high motivation as that, how can the Deacon Demons … or Demon Deacons … or Pernicious Pastors .. or whatever they are lose? WFU wins.

 

South Carolina at Florida

I agree with Nicklaus, people will keep calling Steve Spurrier “The Old Ball Coach” for reasons that are unclear … except ESPN, who call him “The Head Ball Coach,” because it’s politically incorrect to call him old. But Spurrier is one of the oldest coaches in football now. What does any of this matter? It doesn’t.

If Lattimore plays, ‘Cocks win. If not, it’s the Gators. Simple as that.

 

South Florida at Louisville

South Florida’s program rose up from a time when their football offices were in a double-wide. How can a Real Southern Man pick against a team from a trailer? Like this: Louisville wins.

 

Texas Tech at TCU

Last week’s drubbing of WVU by Texas Tech didn’t surprise me. It was classic Tuberville. You know what else is classic Tuberville? Building up the hopes of his fan base only to dash them again. Horny Toads win.

 

NC State at Maryland

NC State channels the same magic that allowed them to beat FSU … but falls short. Turtles win. (If Lattimore stays out, it could be a good day for reptiles.)

 

Louisiana-Monroe at Western Kentucky

Two Sunbelt powers that beat SEC teams. Of course, those teams were a woeful Arkansas and a woefuller Kentucky. Of course, the Warhawks lost to the woefullest Auburn. Expect a shootout as coaches Todd Berry and Willie Taggert pull out all the stops. And expect their battle to continue off the field as the two hottest names in the annual coaching carousel.

This is a tough one. I’m picking based on helmets. The Hilltoppers’ helmets have an image of a hand throwing in a towel (at least that’s how it looks to me). Warhawks win.

 

Alabama at Tennessee

It’s the third Saturday in October. Expect a larger-than-usual Crimson crowd in Neyland Stadium, as the Vols continue to struggle against ranked teams. Tennessee will keep it close for a half. Bama will pull away in the third quarter and coast to a big victory.

 

Kansas State at West Virginia

In a match-up of possible Heisman finalists, “Optimus Klein” and the Bill Snyder-led Kansas State prove to be too much for the worst defense in college football. KSU wins.

 

Baylor at Texas

Speaking of worst defenses in the country… Maybe these teams should just go old school and let their offenses play both sides of the ball. You could even play by old substitution rules: a starter can only come out off the field once and re-enter. Subs can’t re-enter at all. Anything to make this one more interesting than the inevitable 150-point shootout it will be.

I’ll pick Baylor to be nice to Louis.

 

Florida State at Miami

Remember when this game was everything? Well, it’s not anymore. FSU wins, but their BCS hopes are long gone regardless.

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