Today’s Twanglish Lesson is probably one of those that makes you roll your eyes and sigh, “Oh great, they’re just posting a Southern pronunciation of a common word. How clever.” Au contraire, mon frére. You should know us better than that! So stow that cynicism, and chew on this meaty bit of Twanglish like a … dawg on a bone:
Dawg –noun 1. A canine 2. Any member of the University of Georgia athletic teams:
How ’bout dem Dawgs?
-adjective 1. of or pertaining to canines 2. cursed, doomed, often used as an expletive (a Southern Cussemisms):
Well, I’ll be dawg!
-adverb 1. severely, extremely:
I was so dawg tired I couldn’t even carry Mama to the Walmarts to buy dawg food.
-adverb 2. in a harsh or profane manner:
I dawg cussed that feller down there at the curb market when he commenced to calling me a Dawg fan.
-verb 1. to curse or lecture one harshly and profanely:
Daddy dawged me out for near ’bout an hour, ’cause I left his Busch at the Walmarts.
When we started thinking about this particular Twanglish lesson, we didn’t realize what should have been obvious: dawg just might be the most versatile word in the Southern language. We mentioned earlier this week that a man isn’t a Real Southern Man until he owns a dog. Maybe we need to extend that to say that a man isn’t a Real Southern Man until he’s been dawged out and dawg cussed until he is so dawg tired that he’s more than willing to sleep in the dawg house.