The Snooty and the Common of Hand-Held Treats

Russian tea cakes. Yeah.

These are Russian tea cakes. Southern ones are usually eaten before anyone can take a picture. Image via Wikipedia

Hand-Held Treats, the division for children of all ages… or those who prefer to eat their Southern Sweets while driving their pickup truck to the woods to pick out their Christmas tree (tree lots are for city folks and Yankees).

In this corner, #4 Tea Cakes. Don’t let the name fool you, these are not some sissy tea party treat. These fluffy-as-a-cloud cookie-like confections are white (underneath a heavy dollop of powdered sugar frosting) because they are made with enough butter and eggs to kill anyone not disciplined by years of eating Sunday dinner at their Mamaw’s table. In other parts of the country and even worldwide, what they call “tea cakes” are spice cakes or bread and have fruit and other items of nutritional value added. Heh. Pansies.

borden-nutty-buddy

Image by kevindean via Flickr

In the opposite corner, #13 Nutty Buddy Cones. An ice cream truck staple, Nutty Buddy Cones are a wonderful mix of soft serve vanilla “ice cream” topped with a swirl of chocolate-flavored topping and crushed peanuts, poured into a sugar cone and frozen to a solid wedge. Absolutely nothing about the Nutty Buddy is genuine; it’s an ersatz version of the homemade sundaes your dad would make as a sleepover treat for your friends. And as kids who were raised on boxes of cheese-flavored pasta and cans of vegetables (when not eating at Mamaw’s, natch), we LOVED THEM.

I bought one for my daughter whilst we were road-tripping, and while I remembered them as much more … well, YUMMY, my daughter immediately entered a nomnomnom haze of delirium that I loved more than I had ever loved the actual treat. Okay, maybe not that much, but still.

To vote for Nutty Buddys or Tea Cakes in the Southern Sweets Showdown, you have two choices: go to Facebook and run the risk of getting distracted by pictures of white women’s feet, or simply take the poll below:

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