Be a Real Southern Man #6 – Tick off PETA

Welcome to your virtual manual for becoming a Real Southern Man.

Today’s how-to tip is sure to cause some controversy. Or maybe not. Depends on whom you ask. Although, with the way our readership has been dwindling lately, we could use a little bit of a scandal. Maybe some naked hippie chicks will paint themselves up like Bambi’s mother as part of a PETA protest of RSM.

Most Southern men we know have done this at some point in their lives. And early on they decide on which side of the line they fall with regard to it, pro or con. But a RSM who is against it never judges those who are for it. It’s just part of the culture.

Today, we think you should…

Hunt, kill, clean and cook your own dinner.

I spent my Sunday evening listening to a couple of guys my age discussing their exploits hunting deer, turkeys, quail, ducks…you name it. I say listening, because I had nothing to add to the conversation. I hunted a few times as a kid – mainly squirrels. My dad wasn’t much of a hunter, so neither was I. It’s not that I’m morally opposed to the idea; I just never had any desire to do it. But ever since we started this blog, the lack of notches on my ammo belt has this particular Real Southern Man feeling not very Southern … or manly.

Describing the experience of deer hunting, one friend said, “It’s mostly a lot of agony until that moment when the deer steps out in the clearing then it’s … I don’t know. I think we were just meant to kill something.”

Given my lack of hunting knowledge, there’s no telling whether anything is even in season right now. So you may have to wait until later in the year to fulfill this one. And at some point this winter, I’m going to do it myself and give you the full low-down here on RSM.

While it’s typically done for sport these days, hunting is emblematic of the type of rugged self-reliance that once made this country great. And it only seems to live on in the South and some parts of Montana. (They also tend to harbor a lot of … um … characters with their own private armories out there in Big Sky Country, so we’ll not talk too much about them. Bless their hearts.)

Judge those guys with the gun racks in their pickups all you like. But when the scat goes down, they’ll be living it up – while the suburban Nancies are clamoring for the last can of Clamato in the ruins of the Walmarts. Now how do you feel about Bambi’s mother?

2 Responses to “Be a Real Southern Man #6 – Tick off PETA”

  1. I have no problem with hunting, as long as you’re actually going to consume what you’ve killed, or someone is. I live in the country, so I do have lots of deer and turkey coming through. There are some I see enough to actually recognize, so I hate the thought of them being killed. But at the same time, what would the deer population be like if they were not hunted? Also, I can see a major difference in the size of the deer that roam through my yard – the ones that get enough to eat – and the ones grazing on the side of the road up north in “the city”. It reinforces for me the idea of population reduction.

    But could I hunt? No way. I know girls hunt, but not this girl. I think. Actually, I’ve never had the opportunity, but I don’t think I would enjoy sitting in the freezing cold for hours on end in the hopes that something MIGHT cross my path so I can shoot at it. And the mess? No thanks. But it sure does taste good, so you go right ahead and hunt my land. My fee is a bit of the take.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Twanglish Lesson: Kilt | Real Southern Men - September 28, 2011

    […] very practical (or modest) when you’re lying on a creeper underneath a ’78 Camaro, sitting in a deer stand in below freezing temps or bush-hogging the back 40 on the John […]

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