These are NOT Real Southern Men

So that's what Swedish rednecks look like...

Thanks to one of the pastors at my church, I am now obsessed with surfing the web for photos of Svenska Dansband, or Swedish dance bands – especially those from the 60s and 70s. If you’ve ever wondered what you can do to be a Real Southern Man, look up some dansband and do the opposite.

As for the fine gentlemen of “Hick,” I can only assume they got hold of a Skynyrd album and thought, “That’s it! We’ll be a Southern Rock version of a Svenska Dansband!” Since Skynyrd in Swedish loosely translates to “goose bowel” (don’t quote me on that) they opted for a name that crosses linguistic and geographic boundaries. Surely, a name like Hick would propel them to worldwide stardom! “This’ll set us apart from the rest of the Schytts of the world!”

Seriously. Schytts. Not only a real band, but one that’s still around. Wikipedia says so.

I’ve got bad news for the guys of Hick: you failed. Not only do you not look like an authentic American Southern rock band, that thing looks like a promo for a Saved by the Bell spinoff set in a mental institution.

There are many things the Swedes do well – flat-pack furniture, boxy cars and tall, leggy blondes to name but a few – but setting new trends in musical excellence and pop culture-inspired fashion are not among them.

The lesson to be learned here is this: living too far north freezes your brain and impairs judgment. Don’t believe me? See more Svenska Dansband for proof.

2 Responses to “These are NOT Real Southern Men”

  1. Wasn’t it a Swedish dance-techno band called Rednex that had the 80s “hit” version of Cotton Eye Joe?

    Having received the first half of my elementary school education in Texas, I found their version particularly disturbing. I remember learning the Cotton Eye Joe in PE class.

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